Overview

Why You Shouldn’t Push It Down

• Emotional Scars Drive Self-Sabotage: Lingering shame wires your brain for avoidance and self-criticism, making you abandon goals before you start ₍₂₎.

• Perfectionism Masks Old Wounds: Perfectionist habits often form to avoid repeating past failures but trap you in anxiety and rigidity, stalling progress ₍₃₎.

• Chronic Stress Strengthens Scar Tissue: Unhealed emotional wounds elevate stress hormones, disrupting emotional regulation and long-term resilience ₍₄₎.

• Reframing Sparks Healing: Practices like self-compassion and cognitive reframing reduce emotional pain, improve resilience, and unlock new levels of performance ₍₅₎.

What ‘IF’..? Challenge

Rewrite Your Failures, Rewire Your Brain:

 1️⃣ Recall a recent failure or past setback.
Sit quietly, take 5 slow, deep breaths (inhale 4 seconds, exhale 6 seconds) to calm your nervous system lowering stress hormones and opening your brain to new perspectives.

2️⃣ Reframe the failure.
Write down what you learned or how you grew because of it. For example:

• “That mistake taught me patience.”

• “That rejection helped me clarify what I want.”

 3️⃣ Choose your response.
Decide how you’ll act differently next time. Options include:

• Take a small risk you’ve been avoiding.

• Share your experience with someone you trust.

• Practice self-compassion by saying: “I’m human; growth takes practice.”

How to handle future failures:
When you stumble again (and you will), pause and breathe. Reflect on what’s still in your control, reframe what went wrong, and remember: failure is feedback not a verdict.

What IF your failures weren’t dead ends, but doorways to your best self?

Citations

1. Kross, E., Berman, M. G., Mischel, W., Smith, E. E., & Wager, T. D. (2011). Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain.

2. Tangney, J. P., & Dearing, R. L. (2002). Shame and guilt. New York, NY: Guilford Press.

3. Flett, G. L., & Hewitt, P. L. (2002). Perfectionism and maladjustment: An overview of theoretical, definitional, and treatment issues. In G. L. Flett & P. L. Hewitt (Eds.), Perfectionism: Theory, research, and treatment (pp. 5–31).

4. McEwen, B. S. (2007). Physiology and neurobiology of stress and adaptation: Central role of the brain. Physiological Reviews

5. Neff, K. D. (2003). Self-compassion: An alternative conceptualization of a healthy attitude toward oneself. Self and Identity